Cat's Piss Publishing

After a long night of drinking and chopping myself I've come to realize two things: A) Rejection letters are best stabbed through the heart and sacrificed to Belial. B) Anyone who believes I've actually sliced myself up takes me way too seriously.

But seriously folks. How much further have we gotten? Editors still reject great stories, and I don't mean just mine, I mean YOURS too. Why? Because they're scared. They're scared of anything groundbreaking. It's just like Hollywood. "Don't write anything new, just remake the same old shit!" Why? Because new writers have balls. We have to. If we don't, we sound lame. I mean fuck...we can't ALL be Brain Keene or Jack Ketchum. NO! We have to OUTDO those guys if we want to be heard!

But that terrifies editors. And for the record, I love Keene and Ketchum, and I suggest you buy all their books. BUT! Having more balls, more weird shit, more gore even, scares the SHIT out of these editors and therefore, they won't publish you.

Well, that's OK. Because I am learning how to format Kindle publishings. And when I've got it together, I'll let you know. Once I do, if you've got something REALLY, HORRIBLY FUCKED UP AND WICKED--but don't forget the pith and DO NOT BE AN HOMAGE MASTER--Rob Zombie has done that enough...I'll fucking publish you. It's all part of my Glorious One-Year Plan.

These pussies are scared. And I'm sick of the stench of their fear. Well, fuck their cat piss stink. Hm. Maybe that's what I'll call my company once it gets going. CAT'S PISS PUBLISHING. Trademark, motherfucker! My only requirement--GIVE ME THE FEAR! And, of course, please self-edit.

We'll see what happens.